God Wants You To Vote For Al Franken

How do I know God wants you to vote for Al Franken? I don’t. However, I figure I know just about as much about what God is thinking as anybody else does. Sometimes I just want to be trendy. (I’m lying through my teeth here, I never like to be trendy.) Like I was saying before I interrupted myself, sometimes I just want to be trendy, and since the latest trend seems to be outrageousness, I thought I might give it a go. Hence, God wants you and everyone else to vote for Al Franken. He also tells me that it doesn’t matter what state you live in, you must vote for Al Franken or he will send you to hell. He plans on doing this on election day, even if you are still alive. So, you better vote for Al Franken. He said to ignore the fact that both Al Franken and Al Qaeda have the same first name, unless you don’t want to ignore it. It doesn’t matter, as long as you vote for Al Franken and not Al Qaeda.

What could be worse than Barack Obama in the White House? Why, Al Franken as a United States Senator! Watch out!

From St. Paul’s Going to Go for This? by Kathryn Jean Lopez:

Of course, the question of his skills as a comedian is a matter of taste — a subjective thing and irrelevant to qualifications for Congress. Presumably someone bought his books for more than utter hatred of the Right. But the author of Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot is not only a crude, mean comic, but he’s within shooting distance of possibly unseating Republican senator Norm Coleman. Yes, that’s right: While the rest of us are getting used to the possibility of an Obama-Pelosi-Reid Washington, there’s more to the worst-case scenario. There could be a Senator Al Franken in the United States Senate.

Yes, let’s piss all over Al Franken and ignore the obvious. God told me to point out that Rush Limbaugh is not only a big fat idiot, but he (not Al Franken) is crude and mean, and not at all funny.

One of Franken’s high-minded contributions to American literature begins:

God chose me to write this book.

God chose Al Franken to write it, now he wants you to buy it. Don’t forget to vote. God wants you to, and so do I.

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