Beck's Brain

From Arizona shootings: Left and right at odds over effects of toxic politics by Suzanne Goldenberg:

On his radio show this morning, Glenn Beck, the sometimes incendiary talkshow host, was all sympathy for Sarah Palin. "I know you are feeling the same heat on this," he said, reading out his exchange of email with the firebrand leader who has been accused of helping to create the toxic environment of current American politics.

Forty-eight hours after the massacre at an Arizona Safeway, the left and right were engaged in decrying the violent rhetoric of Obama-age politics while trying at the same time to score points off their political opponents.

Beck used his show to drum up sympathy for Palin, reading out an email from the conservative icon in which she expressed her hatred of violence and those who seek to politicise violence.

He then offered her the services of his own security firm, reading out the name on air. "Please look into protection for your family. An attempt on you can bring the republic down," he said.

Let me get this straight. There are people on the left who have criticized and/or questioned the rhetoric of Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck for possibly inciting violence. Yet Beck perceives that there is a threat from the non-violent, anti-war, gun-control supporting left and that one of us will abandon our principles to try to shoot Sarah Palin? The man’s brain is in need of a major overhaul.

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What You Talkin' 'Bout Sarah?

And I thought that Glenn Beck was incomprehensible. And I thought that George W. Bush had lowered the standards of political discourse to about as low as they could go.

Before we proceed, let’s take a timeout to remind ourselves what the word discourse actually means:

1 archaic : the capacity of orderly thought or procedure : rationality
2 : verbal interchange of ideas ; especially : conversation
3 a: formal and orderly and usually extended expression of thought on a subject b: connected speech or writing c: a linguistic unit (as a conversation or a story) larger than a sentence
4obsolete : social familiarity
5: a mode of organizing knowledge, ideas, or experience that is rooted in language and its concrete contexts (as history or institutions)

I believe it is the Republicans and the Fundamentalists who were responsible for the first definition’s archaicness.

From Help! Mom! There are Liberals Under My Bed! Review by Sarah Churchwell:

As part of her post-election media blitz, attempting to recuperate some political credibility, Palin’s problems with syntax grew so acute that she became spectacularly incoherent. When CNN’s Wolf Blitzer asked her if she had any new initiatives she wanted to unveil, Palin’s response was unintelligible:

Gah! Nothing specific right now. Sitting here in these chairs that I’m going to be proposing but in working with these governors who again on the front lines are forced to and it’s our privileged obligation to find solutions to the challenges facing our own states every day being held accountable, not being just one of many just casting votes or voting present every once in a while, we don’t get away with that. We have to balance budgets and we’re dealing with multibillion dollar budgets and tens of thousands of employees in our organizations.

Gah, indeed. I propose chairs, too. Although I’m not sure why.

Sourcewatch

Why does Sourcewatch.org have pages for Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, but none for Jon Stewart?

Now I'm REALLY Pissed At Glenn Beck

This is the worst thing that Glenn Beck has ever done. Because of his Earth Day escapades encouraging chain-saw massacres my brain has become fixated on Beck having sex (I think he is probably incapable of making love) while he fantasizes about chain-saws clear-cutting a massive forest. (Does his wife know that this is what really gets him off?)

Out, I say. Get out of my head NOW!

Damn you, Beck!

Imagine Telling God That You Celebrated Earth Day By Encouraging People To Cut Down Trees

Glenn Beck is one sick, twisted puppy.

From Wikipedia:

Beck also is pro-life, including being opposed to euthanasia and the death penalty, in which he said that he could not "imagine telling God that he lived in a society that decided who should live or not."

Why do the pro-lifers like to kill everything except that of an embryonic nature?

Does Glenn Beck not think that trees are alive? Does Glenn Beck think that we would still be alive if there were no more trees? What the hell does Glenn Beck have against trees for Christ’s sake? Did someone tell him that all trees are socialist, fascist, registered Democrats or something?

If Beck thought that encouraging people to blow up kittens and puppies with dynamite would get him higher ratings, would he do it? What the hell is wrong with this man?

From Village Idiot Glenn Beck Gets a Woody on Earth Day by Kevin K.:

I signed up for the Glenn Beck newsletter yesterday and today my email box is stuffed with stupid:

On Today’s Program
Earth Day!

Glenn takes some callers eager to celebrate Earth Day by cutting down trees live on the air. There’s nothing better than the sound of a good chainsaw blazing away on Earth day. Check out this call from Tim in Cleveland, who is cutting down trees in Ohio.

Mike in Tulsa celebrates Earth Day by running all of his lawn equipment at the same time.

God, I hate these people.

[TRANSCRIPT OF CALL WITH TIM BELOW THE FOLD—5:05pm AUDIO ADDED]

April 22, 2009 - 12:21 ET

This message is brought to you by Evil Conservative Industries…

GLENN: Do we have Tim in Cleveland is a forest manager. He’s cutting down trees today in celebration of Earth Day. Do we have Tim on the phone? Tim, are you there?

CALLER: Yeah, I’m here, Glenn.

GLENN: Hi, how are you?

CALLER: Good, how are you doing?

GLENN: Well, I’m very good. I’m very good. Where are you cutting down trees, sir?

CALLER: I’m in Ashtabula County, Northeast Ohio. It’s a wildlife habitat. My landowner is a big hunter and we’re going through his woods and making a couple of half acre clear cuts and that’s where he will lay in wait for the deer to come. Deer are very curious creatures and they will come and investigate these clear cuts and he’ll shoot them.

GLENN: This is like nirvana here.

CALLER: Yeah.

GLENN: This is not only going to hack off all the environmentalists but all the PETA people, too.

CALLER: That’s exactly right.

GLENN: So Tim, how come I don’t hear the chainsaws running.

CALLER: I can start it up right now. Do you want to hear it?

GLENN: This is too good to be true. Tim, hang on just a second because I want to savor this moment. Hang on just a second. Let me give our commercial for this half hour and then you start.

CALLER: All right.

GLENN: Stu, this is like Dan, I need Barry White music. This is almost full fledged light some candles, this is eroticism.

STU: I’m just glad it’s so good for the Earth on Earth Day.

GLENN: You say is that and it sounds sarcastic.

STU: It sounds sarcastic? No.

GLENN: Give me a little Barry White on the program, will you?

(Break)

(Earth Day spoof)

GLENN: That’s right, it is time to go all green. We go back to Tim who is a forest manager. He is cutting down trees in honor of Earth well, not really in honor. We could say in honor of Earth Day, can’t we, Tim.

CALLER: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

GLENN: In honor of Earth Day. That’s fantastic. Are you ready?

CALLER: Yeah, I’m ready.

GLENN: Go ahead.

CALLER: I have to yell “Timber” first.

GLENN: You’ve got to what?

CALLER: I have to yell “Timber” first.

GLENN: Oh, okay. Don’t you do that right before the tree falls?

CALLER: Timber! (Chainsaw starting up).

All done. I laid down an Aspen tree with Glenn’s name on it and an Aspen tree with Stu’s name on it. So you are both involved.

GLENN: That is fantastic. Those are little teeny trees. Don’t you have like a big huge oak or something?

CALLER: No, no, we don’t cut oak. We cut Aspen and stuff like that and we leave behind the good stuff.

GLENN: Well, I’m looking for somebody else that would be willing to cut down the good stuff, you know. They are not American Elms, are?

CALLER: Well, actually they are. Yes, they are.

GLENN: They are? Because I know those are like here in New York City, you go to Central Park, American Elms, those are a big deal because they are almost wiped out and everything else. So I mean, give me another Elm, just give me another American Elm.

CALLER: I want to hear another American Elm? Coming right up. Let me fire this back up.

GLENN: Because they are so loved here in New York City.

My guess is that Beck never gets laid. That would explain a lot, wouldn’t it. Especially if he thinks this is nirvana and the height of eroticism. And that this is what God made Barry White for. Ooo Baby.

Does This Make Any Sense To Anyone?

I’ve been doing the Google concerning Glenn Beck and the raping of Mother Nature as a way of celebrating Earth Day and I came across what follows.

From Glenn not a Christian? by Glenn Beck:

Now, imagine, put yourself in this position. Let's say you are in Saudi Arabia where nobody's ever heard of the trinity. You're a Catholic. Nobody's ever heard of the trinity. What, the trinity? What, it's three in one, they're everywhere and nowhere. Jesus is on the cross but he's really God. So God has died but yet he didn't die and how does this -- imagine you've never heard this before. So you've never heard any kind of explanation. So it works. You know what I mean? You've never heard anybody say, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, you've got to slow down. She asked me two questions about deep doctrine issues and I had in my ear, 40 seconds. Oh, well, hang on. I've got 40 seconds. Let me explain this to you. You can't explain it in 40 seconds. You can't explain anything of deep philosophical viewpoint or deep theological viewpoint. It took me a year of real studying to be able to understand some of the stuff in all of different doctrines, which leads me to this. Nobody really cares. Nobody really cares.

Look, I've said this before. You have more Jello with stupid carrots in it than you've ever -- I don't even know who came up with Jello and carrots but somehow or another the Mormons did and they're like, "Here, somebody's died, here, have some Jello and carrots." That just makes it worse for me. If you want to know, ask a Mormon. If the media wants to know, why don't you call somebody who, like, actually does this for a living. I hear the Mormons have a university. That's weird. Maybe you should call somebody at the university and talk about their theological doctrine. Have the theological issues taken care of by those people. But see, that's not what it's about. It's about an agenda. It's about an agenda that I'm telling you is going to backfire on the media because if Mitt Romney would get the nomination, Christians will then rally around him and say, whoa, wait a minute, hang on, this looks like it's a persecution of religion because that's exactly what it is.

If I got on the air and I said to you, I'm going to vote for Mitt Romney and I'm going to vote for Mitt Romney because he's a Mormon. Well, wouldn't you think that I'm the dumbest man in America? And you know what, you'd have every right to think that because if I just voted for Mitt Romney because he was a Mormon, I would also have to vote for Harry Reid, and I got news for ya. I ain't ever voting for Harry Reid. I don't care if he is Jack Mormon himself.

I repeat. Does this make any sense to anyone? If it does, could you please explain it to me?

Now, I think that Beck is certifiable. But this is simply weird and incomprehensible, even for Beck. My take on all of this is simply that Beck dropped some acid and the result was Glenn not a Christian?

Careless Glenn, Bizarre Glenn

Glenn Beck is one careless right-wing-nut.

From Be Prepared by Glenn Beck:

If you believe this country was founded on divine providence — like our founders did — you believe that freedom was important enough that God got involved personally.

That's why this country was set up in a very specific way. Our rights and liberties come to us from God and we lend them to the government. Washington currently seems to have a different spin on that: government is god.

But, if you believe in the founders' ideals, it makes sense that God would give us an early warning system. That's your gut — don't dismiss it.

The whole “the founders founded America as a Christian nation” has become extremely tiresome, but this particular Glenn Beck version is simply too outrageous to ignore. Either Glenn Beck is careless, ignorant, or lying. How can one prove that God was personally involved in the founding of our nation when one cannot prove the existence of God?

Remember: The impossible sometimes turns into the reality quicker than you can imagine. Ask anyone who is running a bank or flipping houses.

By definition, something that is impossible is always impossible. If Glenn Beck meant to write that what appears to be impossible can sometimes turn out to actually be possible, then why didn’t he write that? And why didn’t God help him with his poorly constructed sentence? I think that maybe God is on the side of the atheists, don’t you?

Glenn Beck is one bizarre right-wing-nut.

Here is a video segment in which it appears (sometimes I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about) that Beck wants us to be prepared for an armageddon by arming ourselves so that we can actually make that possible armageddon into reality. Glenn Beck is afraid of some imagined scenario. He wants us to share his fear. I can’t do that. I’m already filled with fear of the reality that is Glenn Beck.



Funny how much Beck is behind the times and disconnected from reality. I remember when many Americans felt “anger and discontent at home” and felt “disenfranchised” and were feeling “isolated from their political leaders” and were “betrayed over and over.” However, the year was 2000, not 2014. Beck doesn’t envision the internet connecting like-minded people until 2014? He doesn’t envision militias until 2014? What planet is this guy from?

Update:
From Crazy Glenn Beck by Tom Tomorrow:

…the week after that plane landed in the Hudson, Crazy Glenn Beck was talking about how it was a sign from God for us to stay calm in these uncertain times. And he didn’t mean it as some sort of metaphor — it was literally a message to Americans from God Almighty not to panic, that He is here with us and we will survive the current economic turmoil.

Kind of a roundabout way for Him to get the word out, but okay, whatever. But then shortly afterwards came the horrible plane crash in Buffalo, which, of course, no one survived. Unfortunately I didn’t listen to Crazy Glenn Beck after that one, so I’m not sure what follow-up message God was allegedly sending us there.

More On Moron Glenn Beck

In retrospect I realize that I have left out several points in my previous posts on Glenn Beck:

• That ultra-conservatives like him are against gun-control laws, and that one of the reasons emergency rooms are overburdened is because of dealing with gun-shot wounds.
• That ultra-conservatives like him are against universal health-care, and that one of the reasons emergency rooms are overburdened is because poor people use them in place of going to a general practitioner.
• He is right that our health-care system could use some improvement, but he's picking on the wrong people. He should try working in an emergency room for 12 hours straight and see if dealing with people like himself makes him feel all chipper and happy, not to mention "compassionate and caring".

He really is a self-centered jerk. And I'm not the only one who thinks he is a moron.