You Know You Got It When You're Going Insane

What comes to mind when you think of the phrase "family values"?

Do you think of the moral and ethical principles traditionally upheld and transmitted within a family,such as honesty, loyalty, industry, and faith.

Not me.

I think of Wang Dang Sweet Poontang giving Ted and Mike Cat Scratch Fever...

Before we go on, let's remember that Mike is a Christian minister.

Feel free to sing along, I like to pretend I'm in church when I do (especially the "I make the pussy purr with the stroke of my hand" part).

Cat Scratch Fever:

Well I don't know where they come from
But they sure do come
I hope they comin' for me
And I don't know how they do it
But they sure do it good
I hope they doin' it for free

They give me cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever

The first time that I got it
I was just ten years old
I got it from some kitty next door
I went to see the Dr. and
He gave me the cure
I think I got it some more

They give me cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever

It's nothin dangerous
I feel no pain
I've got to ch-ch-change
You know you got it when you're going insane
It makes a grown man cryin' cryin'
Won't you make my bed

I make the pussy purr with
The stroke of my hand
They know they gettin' it from me
They know just where to go
When they need their lovin man
They know I do it for free

They give me cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever

Here is a bonus Ted Nugent family values song. I suggest thinking of Donald "I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her." Trump and his daughter when you belt out the "She's so sweet when she yanks on my meat" line. All together now!

Wang Dang Sweet Poontang:

Wang dang sweet poontang
Wang dang sweet poontang

That Nadine, what a teenage queen
She lookin' so clean
Especially down in between
What I like

She come to town, she be foolin' around
A puttin' me down as a rock and roll clown
It's all right

Wang dang sweet poontang
Wang dang sweet poontang

Wang dang, what a sweet poontang
A shakin' my thang, as a rang
A dang, dang, in the bell, oh baby

She's so sweet when she yanks on my meat
But down on the street, you know she can't be beat
What the hell

Wang dang sweet poontang
Wang dang sweet poontang

Alright baby, you see what I've got here in my hands
I've got it right in my hands, this is for you, baby
I think I am gonna yank, on a wanton, look out

Wang dang, what a sweet poontang
A shakin' my thang, as a rang
A dang, dang, in the bell

She's so sweet when she yanks on my meat
But down on the street, you know she can't be beat
What the hell

Dumbass Quote Of Note - Mike Huckabee

"They can no more redefine the purpose of marriage then they can redefine the laws of gravity and say that we can all go floating everywhere we go and don’t need to take cars anymore. - Mike Huckabee

Dumbass Quote Of Note - Mike Huckabee

"This is where this all gets very confusing. And it’s why the haste to rush into implementing same-sex marriage is so ridiculous and, frankly, Tony, it’s why it’s so illegal is because this has left the whole country in a state of ambiguity and confusion." - Mike Huckabee

Dumbass Quote Of Note - Mike Huckabee

"...the Dred Scott decision of 1857 still remains to this day the law of the land which says that black people aren’t fully human." - Mike Huckabee

A Fool And His Money

Republicans were stupid enough to nominate and elect George W. Bush. Twice. I wonder how many are stupid enough to throw their money at what is basically a non-existent presidential campaign?

From Huckabee tells Republicans how to recover by Kristi Keck:

Huckabee abandoned his 2008 presidential campaign in March, but he's shied away from saying if he has put all of his presidential aspirations to rest.

"I'm quite a few months and many prayers away from making some decision like that," he said.

His supporters, however, already are preparing for 2012. Huckabee said that people showing up for his book signings -- often hours before the events are scheduled to begin -- are telling him that he has their vote in the next presidential election.

Supporters behind SaveforMike.com have even committed to setting aside $2.85 a day so that if Huckabee decides to run, they'll have saved up enough by the time of his announcement to contribute the maximum $2,300 to his campaign. And if not, they'll "just use the savings to splurge on something nice to lessen our disappointment," according to the group's Web site.

While he's amazed by the energy among his supporters, Huckabee said when it comes to a future presidential run, "we'll just have to wait and see."

Aren’t there laws against this kind of thing?

Will The Real Mike Huckabee Please Stand Up

Who is Mike Huckabee? Is he an ordained Baptist minister? Is he the head of a political action committee raising money for John McCain and other Republicans? Is he a political commentator on Fox News? Is he John McCain’s potential running mate?

The answer would be “all of the above.” Does anyone else see a glaring conflict of interest here? Fair and balanced all right.

From Mike Huckabee Joins Fox News by Andrew DeMillo:

Mike Huckabee, a former Republican presidential hopeful, has been hired by Fox News Channel as a political commentator.

Read the rest here.

Somebody Aimed A Gun At Him

From Huckabee Jokes About Obama Ducking Gunfire by Sarah Wheaton:

Known for his humor on the campaign trail, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee raised some eyebrows with his latest improvisation, which imagined a gun pointed at Senator Barack Obama of Illinois.

When his speech to the National Rifle Association was interrupted by a loud noise from backstage, Mr. Huckabee quipped, “That was Barack Obama. He just tripped off a chair. He’s getting ready to speak and somebody aimed a gun at him and he — he dove for the floor.”

Though the audience laughed at the first part of the joke about Mr. Obama falling off the chair, the gun comment the former Republican presidential contender drew a few murmurs.

Bad Old Boys

From Huck's Free Pass: Why are the media ignoring Mike Huckabee's remarks about the Confederate flag? By Christopher Hitchens:

But this drivel, it turns out, is all a slick cover for racist incitement, and it ought not to be given a free pass.

And not merely racist incitement. So slack is our grasp of history and principle that we seem unable to think of the Confederacy as other than "offensive" to blacks. But there are two Republican candidates in this election—the absurd and sinister Ron Paul being the other—who choose this crucial moment in our time to exalt those who attempted to destroy the Union by force, and those who solicited the help of foreign powers in order to do so, and whose treason led to the violent deaths of hundreds of thousands of Americans. Should their patriotism be questioned? I would say most definitely yes, and questioned repeatedly, at that, perhaps especially if they are seeking the nomination of the party of Lincoln.

There is no way to put a positive spin on the Confederacy. The Confederacy was about one thing, and one thing only. Treason. Southerners today that glorify the Confederacy are glorifying treason. The Confederate flag is symbolic of treason. Politicians that pander to the votes of these Southerners should be ashamed of themselves.

Mike Huckabee vs Sam Harris

Mike Huckabee on Stem Cell research:


Sam Harris on Stem Cell research:


Play them both at the same time to find out who wins.

Why Does God Hate Mike Huckabee?

PZ Myers ponders the relationship between God and Mike Huckabee over at Pharyngula. It appears to have gone sour. Maybe God is smarter than I think he is.

Mike Huckabee Is The Next In Line To Waterboard

"I'm finding out just how long I can go sleep deprived. You know, running for office is sort of like being waterboarded, I think." Mike Huckabee

There is one way to give Mr. Huckabee the information he needs to make a more certain statement about the similarities and differences between the lack of sleep and waterboarding. WATERBOARD HIM! After all, a future president should know these things, right? Oh, never mind, since our current president doesn’t know, and most of our so-called “leaders” don’t know either.

Instead of presidential debates, let’s have a presidential waterboarding contest.

Seriously, where is the outrage over all of the recent comments from so many “prominent” people concerning waterboarding? These people are saying that waterboarding is not torture and is not illegal. How can Mike Huckabee joke about this? This man is as deranged as George W. Bush, who joked about missing WMDs. Both men profess to be Christians. Would Jesus waterboard someone? Would Jesus make jokes about waterboarding? I am outraged over the lack of outrage!

CNN.com Headline Of The Day

Huckabee says he's looking for a 'miracle'

Mike Huckabee And Jesus

This is too close to reality for me. Bring back the separation of church and state!

Compassionate Conservative

"What I have to do is make sure that my anger with a guy like Romney, whose teeth I want to knock out, doesn't get in the way of my thought process." Ed Rollins

Ed Rollins is the national campaign chairman for Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee.

Mike Huckabee Thinks That Bad Actors Are Sinners

"Let's understand what sin means -- sin means missing the mark, missing the mark can mean missing the mark in any area. We've all missed the mark. ... How we miss the mark is less important than we all miss the mark. Mike Huckabee

Mike Huckabee On The Proper Way To Fly The Confederate Flag

He wants the flag to fly upside down, while dragging on the ground:

"In fact, if somebody came to Arkansas and told us what to do with our flag, we'd tell them what to do with the pole, that's what we'd do." Mike Huckabee

It’s the Christian thing to do.

Does this mean that if someone came to Arkansas and said, “Fly the confederate flag at the capital”, he’d still tell them what to do with the pole? How considerate of him.

Mike Huckabee Admits He's Stupid

“Jesus Was Too Smart to Run for Public Office” Mike Huckabee

Mike Huckabee Admits That The Word Of God Can Be Changed

"I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God. And that's what we need to do is amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than trying to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family." Mike Huckabee

Beam Me Up Scotty, Not Sideways!

I saw Mike Huckabee on television talking about this, too. I think I saw him on a different show, and his explanation was even more bizarre than the clip from Meet The Press that Josh Marshall shows. I had the same reaction as Josh.