Bernie Sanders Is Shamelessly Pandering

From Sanders Shamelessly Pandering to Voters Who Want to Hear Truth by Andy Borowitz:

“At some point in this campaign, voters are going to get truth fatigue,” Dorrinson said. “Right now, the novelty of a politician who doesn’t constantly spew lies is grabbing headlines. But after months of Bernie Sanders telling the truth, voters are going to start wondering, Is that all he’s got?”

Andy Borowitz On John McCain And Iraq

I like the Borowitz Report. Sometimes it makes me laugh and sometimes it makes me groan. Sometimes it comes too close to reality to really be funny. Check out McCain Concludes Fact-hiding Mission to Iraq and see what you think.

Presumptive G.O.P. nominee John McCain wrapped up his fact-hiding mission to Iraq today, declaring the trip an unqualified success.

“My friends, I came to Iraq to hide the facts about the way the war is going, and in that I have succeeded,” Sen. McCain told reporters. “Omission accomplished.”

Read the rest here.

How To Listen To George W. Bush

I know that Andy Borowitz is a comedian. In all seriousness, however, he gives the best example of how to listen to George W. Bush:

Elsewhere, President Bush said that the economy was not in a recession, leading economists to conclude that the economy was in a recession.

"Brownie, you’re doing a heckuva job", really meant: “Brownie, you suck.” “In the form of a mushroom cloud”, really meant: “Iraq does not have any nuclear bombs.” “I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States”, really meant: “I will make the Office of President of the United States a laughingstock for all the world to see, and I’m gonna stomp all over the Constitution and tear it to shreds.” And so on…

If only Congress would learn this.