How To Listen To George W. Bush

I know that Andy Borowitz is a comedian. In all seriousness, however, he gives the best example of how to listen to George W. Bush:

Elsewhere, President Bush said that the economy was not in a recession, leading economists to conclude that the economy was in a recession.

"Brownie, you’re doing a heckuva job", really meant: “Brownie, you suck.” “In the form of a mushroom cloud”, really meant: “Iraq does not have any nuclear bombs.” “I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States”, really meant: “I will make the Office of President of the United States a laughingstock for all the world to see, and I’m gonna stomp all over the Constitution and tear it to shreds.” And so on…

If only Congress would learn this.