Thursday, April 23, 2009

Imagine Telling God That You Celebrated Earth Day By Encouraging People To Cut Down Trees

Glenn Beck is one sick, twisted puppy.

From Wikipedia:

Beck also is pro-life, including being opposed to euthanasia and the death penalty, in which he said that he could not "imagine telling God that he lived in a society that decided who should live or not."
Why do the pro-lifers like to kill everything except that of an embryonic nature?

Does Glenn Beck not think that trees are alive? Does Glenn Beck think that we would still be alive if there were no more trees? What the hell does Glenn Beck have against trees for Christ’s sake? Did someone tell him that all trees are socialist, fascist, registered Democrats or something?

If Beck thought that encouraging people to blow up kittens and puppies with dynamite would get him higher ratings, would he do it? What the hell is wrong with this man?

From Village Idiot Glenn Beck Gets a Woody on Earth Day by Kevin K.:
I signed up for the Glenn Beck newsletter yesterday and today my email box is stuffed with stupid:
On Today’s Program
Earth Day!

Glenn takes some callers eager to celebrate Earth Day by cutting down trees live on the air. There’s nothing better than the sound of a good chainsaw blazing away on Earth day. Check out this call from Tim in Cleveland, who is cutting down trees in Ohio.

Mike in Tulsa celebrates Earth Day by running all of his lawn equipment at the same time.
God, I hate these people.

April 22, 2009 - 12:21 ET

This message is brought to you by Evil Conservative Industries…

GLENN: Do we have Tim in Cleveland is a forest manager. He’s cutting down trees today in celebration of Earth Day. Do we have Tim on the phone? Tim, are you there?

CALLER: Yeah, I’m here, Glenn.

GLENN: Hi, how are you?

CALLER: Good, how are you doing?

GLENN: Well, I’m very good. I’m very good. Where are you cutting down trees, sir?

CALLER: I’m in Ashtabula County, Northeast Ohio. It’s a wildlife habitat. My landowner is a big hunter and we’re going through his woods and making a couple of half acre clear cuts and that’s where he will lay in wait for the deer to come. Deer are very curious creatures and they will come and investigate these clear cuts and he’ll shoot them.

GLENN: This is like nirvana here.


GLENN: This is not only going to hack off all the environmentalists but all the PETA people, too.

CALLER: That’s exactly right.

GLENN: So Tim, how come I don’t hear the chainsaws running.

CALLER: I can start it up right now. Do you want to hear it?

GLENN: This is too good to be true. Tim, hang on just a second because I want to savor this moment. Hang on just a second. Let me give our commercial for this half hour and then you start.

CALLER: All right.

GLENN: Stu, this is like Dan, I need Barry White music. This is almost full fledged light some candles, this is eroticism.

STU: I’m just glad it’s so good for the Earth on Earth Day.

GLENN: You say is that and it sounds sarcastic.

STU: It sounds sarcastic? No.

GLENN: Give me a little Barry White on the program, will you?


(Earth Day spoof)

GLENN: That’s right, it is time to go all green. We go back to Tim who is a forest manager. He is cutting down trees in honor of Earth well, not really in honor. We could say in honor of Earth Day, can’t we, Tim.

CALLER: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

GLENN: In honor of Earth Day. That’s fantastic. Are you ready?

CALLER: Yeah, I’m ready.

GLENN: Go ahead.

CALLER: I have to yell “Timber” first.

GLENN: You’ve got to what?

CALLER: I have to yell “Timber” first.

GLENN: Oh, okay. Don’t you do that right before the tree falls?

CALLER: Timber! (Chainsaw starting up).

All done. I laid down an Aspen tree with Glenn’s name on it and an Aspen tree with Stu’s name on it. So you are both involved.

GLENN: That is fantastic. Those are little teeny trees. Don’t you have like a big huge oak or something?

CALLER: No, no, we don’t cut oak. We cut Aspen and stuff like that and we leave behind the good stuff.

GLENN: Well, I’m looking for somebody else that would be willing to cut down the good stuff, you know. They are not American Elms, are?

CALLER: Well, actually they are. Yes, they are.

GLENN: They are? Because I know those are like here in New York City, you go to Central Park, American Elms, those are a big deal because they are almost wiped out and everything else. So I mean, give me another Elm, just give me another American Elm.

CALLER: I want to hear another American Elm? Coming right up. Let me fire this back up.

GLENN: Because they are so loved here in New York City.
My guess is that Beck never gets laid. That would explain a lot, wouldn’t it. Especially if he thinks this is nirvana and the height of eroticism. And that this is what God made Barry White for. Ooo Baby.

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