Monday, August 4, 2008

PZ Myers Has Killed Jesus Christ

To all you Catholics out there who haven’t heard the news: Jesus Christ has been killed, yet again. PZ Myers has admitted that he is the one who stabbed Mr. Christ to death. He then threw his body in the trash. After committing this horrible act Myers simply said, “It is finished.”

People have been puzzled by the reason “Mad” Myers gave for carrying out this horrendous crime. “It’s a frackin’ cracker,” he was quoted as saying. What is even more puzzling to this humble blogger is that Myers has not been arrested for murder. After all, he killed Jesus Christ, yet again.

If you are not Catholic you may not realize this. You may not know about transubstantiation. It means: “The miraculous change by which according to Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox dogma the eucharistic elements at their consecration become the body and blood of Christ while keeping only the appearances of bread and wine.”

All good Catholics know what transubstantiation means. It means that PZ Myers killed Jesus Christ, yet again. The response from Catholics who have come forward to comment on this incident is, once again, puzzling. The venom directed toward Myers is almost too much to take. The worst of it was when Myers was accused of being a “biology teacher.” I shudder to think of the meaning of this. I cannot comprehend such evil.

Catholics from around the world have come forward with various comments about Myers. Rod Dreher has decided that the death penalty is too good for the evil Myers. Instead he has taken the matter of justice into his own hands and has resorted to… name calling. Dreher has called Myers a “coward”, a “Christian-hating fanatic”, and “Big Man.” (Will Clarence Clemmons sue?) The Confraternity of Catholic Clergy asks “all Catholics of Minnesota and of the entire nation to join in a day of prayer and fasting that such offenses never happen again.” Ouch, now we all know that’s worse than life imprisonment or lethal injection.

Myers himself seems to be aware of his guilt. In what can only be thought of as self-flagellation, Myers reads and publishes thousands of comments concerning his disgraceful act on his blog, which is called Pharyngula. Only a deranged murderer would give a name like that to his blog.

Yet despite literally thousands of comments from Catholics on this matter, no Catholics are calling for the arrest of PZ Myers. It is almost as if they do not believe that Myers killed anyone, let alone their Lord and saviour. This cannot be, can it?

5 comments - Post a comment :

whateverman said...

Of those who are most active in this anti-PZ campaign, none will willingly admit they don't believe everything they're saying.

Most religious people I know keep their faith personal, and accept the ceremony as symbolic. They certainly wouldn't want anyone to enter mass and cool their feet in the holy water, but they don't necessarily view physical trappings of religious worship as somehow "Sacred! Desecrate at the penalty of your mortal soul!"

None of the people who've reacted with death threats fall into this category. And as such, they are pathologically incapable of understanding that the vast majority of The Faithful view them unfavorably.

PZ said...

Not only did I do it, I bragged about it and posted photographic evidence.

I think they fear me. Obviously, I'm bigger and more powerful than their god.

Timothy said...

Um, what proof is there that the host had been consecrated and was, in fact, the body, blood, soul and divinity of Christ?

Also, how does one go about killing God? Remember, without God, there are no atheists.

God bless...

+Timothy

Gem Newman said...

"Without God, there are no atheists"? Foolishness of the highest calibre! You are confusing semantics with reason, and the idea of a thing with its existence; please don't. Without the idea of God, there would be no need for the designation "atheist". That doesn't mean that no atheists would exist! Without the idea of God, everyone would be an atheist, and there would be no need for the name.

Many years ago, most (if not all) people believed that the Earth was flat. The fact that it was something that everyone believed meant that no designation was necessary. The fact that there was no "flat-earther" designation (at the time) does not mean that people did not believe that the planet was flat.

Jamey said...

If a blogger were to call upon their readers to go out and insult, say, blacks or jews or catholics, using racial/religious slurs but no violence, would this be an offense worthy of being fired from one's job or expulsion from a university? What about urging readers to steal American flags from institutions (does public vs private change things?) and burn them?

In what sense is the desecration of the Eucharist wafers different from stealing a War veteran's medal of honor and smashing it to bits, or vandalizing a public war memorial like the Vietnam wall of names? Is it purely the monetary value or does the symbolism play a role? Would either of the latter actions be a crime worthy of a fine or jail time?

What about burning the only extant copy of the Declaration of Independence? Is this a crime simply because it is say, a museum's property (or is it national property)? Or do we imbue the item with "symbolism" similar to how catholics view the Eucharist wafer, and penalize someone for disrespecting that symbolism? Is there any caveat for the fact that it is irreplaceable, whereas the wafer is quite cheap and the consecration at no cost?

Isn't it the case that a university has the right to expel any student, and fire any untenured faculty member, for any reason they want? Under what conditions can a university fire a tenured faculty member? Or is there some law explicitly protecting free speech/expression such that the university would be unable to lawfully do this? Is it, or is it lawful for it to be, against any university's code of conduct to "disrespect" anyone, for example with regards to ethnicity or religion?

Seems to me that the rights of the Catholic Church end at the church door, they can ask folks to leave & call the cops if they don't but don't have legal grounds for getting anyone expelled/fired no matter how much "disrespect" they feel they've been shown. This must go the other way around, and I would grant that no one be fired/penalized for insulting me or say, burning an "Atheist" t-shirt, so long as it isn't my property. It seems to me that there is no legal grounds for firing PZ or expelling Webster Cook, though he was impeached from the Student Senate I think... I imagine they have the right to impeach anyone for any reason, right?

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