PZ Myers Has Killed Jesus Christ

To all you Catholics out there who haven’t heard the news: Jesus Christ has been killed, yet again. PZ Myers has admitted that he is the one who stabbed Mr. Christ to death. He then threw his body in the trash. After committing this horrible act Myers simply said, “It is finished.”

People have been puzzled by the reason “Mad” Myers gave for carrying out this horrendous crime. “It’s a frackin’ cracker,” he was quoted as saying. What is even more puzzling to this humble blogger is that Myers has not been arrested for murder. After all, he killed Jesus Christ, yet again.

If you are not Catholic you may not realize this. You may not know about transubstantiation. It means: “The miraculous change by which according to Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox dogma the eucharistic elements at their consecration become the body and blood of Christ while keeping only the appearances of bread and wine.”

All good Catholics know what transubstantiation means. It means that PZ Myers killed Jesus Christ, yet again. The response from Catholics who have come forward to comment on this incident is, once again, puzzling. The venom directed toward Myers is almost too much to take. The worst of it was when Myers was accused of being a “biology teacher.” I shudder to think of the meaning of this. I cannot comprehend such evil.

Catholics from around the world have come forward with various comments about Myers. Rod Dreher has decided that the death penalty is too good for the evil Myers. Instead he has taken the matter of justice into his own hands and has resorted to… name calling. Dreher has called Myers a “coward”, a “Christian-hating fanatic”, and “Big Man.” (Will Clarence Clemmons sue?) The Confraternity of Catholic Clergy asks “all Catholics of Minnesota and of the entire nation to join in a day of prayer and fasting that such offenses never happen again.” Ouch, now we all know that’s worse than life imprisonment or lethal injection.

Myers himself seems to be aware of his guilt. In what can only be thought of as self-flagellation, Myers reads and publishes thousands of comments concerning his disgraceful act on his blog, which is called Pharyngula. Only a deranged murderer would give a name like that to his blog.

Yet despite literally thousands of comments from Catholics on this matter, no Catholics are calling for the arrest of PZ Myers. It is almost as if they do not believe that Myers killed anyone, let alone their Lord and saviour. This cannot be, can it?

Crackers And Wafers And Rudeness, Oh My!

Some other bloggers, internetters, and unmentionables think that PZ Myers was rude or abusive to the Catholics because he “didn't accord the Eucharist proper respect.” Some think that he is a jerk. Some find his conduct reprehensible. Just what is the proper respect that an atheist should have for the Eucharist?

Here’s what Catholics believe about atheists like Mr. Myers and myself:

We will spend eternity burning in hell. They believe this just as much as they believe in transubstantiation.

How rude is that?

The god that the Catholics believe in is a fucking asshole.

How rude is that?

For a more sane perspective on all of this visit Majikthise.

The world would be a better place with no religion at all.