Dead Bodies On Tour

Rolling Stones jokes tempt me, but I will try to be strong.

This is the Catholic version of respect for the dead. To me, it seems like an incentive to be a really bad Catholic.

Carnie sideshow: the bizarre Catholic tradition that won’t die out:

Once upon a time there was a roaring trade in Christian relics: bits of bones and chopped up mummified body parts and scraps of clothing of purported saints did the rounds in Europe. Many were sold for enormous amounts of money, some became treasured property of local royal families, many became the focus of lucrative pilgrimages for religious centers that housed these relics. Almost all of the relics were endowed with dubious miraculous powers ranging from healing ailments to more spiritual rewards. Certainly, the financial rewards for hosting the body parts was substantial and demand for them was always at a premium. As Andrew Butterfield notes in his New Republic article What Remains:

Such was the desire for the miracle-working bodies of saints that occasionally guards had to watch over mortally ill holy men and women to prevent the unauthorized dismemberment of their corpses as soon as they died.

You’d probably think, well, that was fine for the Late Medieval era. That was then, but Christianity has moved on. People are far more educated these days. Even the most fundamentalist Christians are far removed from the grisly superstitions of the past. Right?

Well, no. The Church after much careful consideration and introspection has decided to straddle rank superstitious hocus pokery and modern rationality at the same time. In a masterful display of the seemingly impossible, they have decided to have their cake and eat it at the same time. As a result the exhumed corpse of Padre Pio (he of the verified-by-Church-Investigators-but-not-scientists stigmata fame) is leaving his home village of San Giovanni Rotondo going on a tour around Italy. He isn’t the first dead body on tour, and he probably (depressingly) won’t be the last.

I cannot understand why the religious choose to fill their attic with so much nonsense.

Catholics Are Confusing

When I searched on the internet for Hail Mary the top result was Hail Mary pass. Once again, I blame Tim Tebow.

Are Catholics breaking their own rules when they say the Hail Mary prayer?

Merriam-Webster defines prayer as: "an address (as a petition) to God or a god in word or thought".

Wikipedia says: "In Christianity, worship is reverent honor and homage paid to God. 

One of the Ten Commandments is: "Thou shalt have no other gods before me."

I think that praying to Mary is sacrilege and blasphemy. The Catholic Church thinks otherwise. They always seem to give themselves an out somehow. The Intercession of Saints comes to the rescue, and makes praying to saints hunky dory. 

Religulousosity

Bill Maher gets religulous.

From Bill Maher takes on religion for laughs -- and more:

Bill Maher has taken his crusade against religion to the big screen.

Maher, who has been picking on organized religion for years on his TV shows "Politically Incorrect" and "Real Time," zealously traveled the world for "Religulous," his documentary challenging the validity and value of Christian, Jewish and Islamic faiths.

Raised in a Roman Catholic household by a Catholic father and Jewish mother, Maher decided at an early age that the trappings and mythology of the world's religions were preposterous, outdated and even dangerous.

"Religulous," directed by fellow doubter Larry Charles ("Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan"), is intended to inspire similar skepticism in others -- and perhaps get nonbelievers to talk more openly about their lack of faith.

Read the rest here.

Surprise, surprise. Some Catholics don’t like it that Bill Maher got religulous.

From Bill Maher’s Ridiculous Religulous by Rev. Robert Barron:

It seems that every time I turn on the television, I hear the comedian Bill Maher bad-mouthing religion. In the last several years, Maher has appeared dozens of times on Larry King’s show, where he consistently mocks the beliefs of religious people, especially Christians. Well, he’s come out with a new documentary film on his favorite subject, and he’s called it, subtly enough, Religulous. I had the opportunity to see an advance screeing of the movie last week in a theatre on the near north side of Chicago. Please don’t go to see it — and I say this for two reasons. First, it’s a mindless and utterly unpersuasive attack on religious faith, and second, it’s remarkably unfunny. Religulous is basically a one-joke movie: put Bill Maher in the presence of simple-minded folks and let the clever comedian take apart their beliefs. This might have worked as a five-minute sketch, but twenty minutes into the movie, I was gazing at my watch in boredom. Practically all of Maher’s interlocutors — Christian fundamentalists, anti-evolutionists, a holocaust-denying rabbi, or even a man who thought he was the re-incarnation of Jesus — had in common a complete intellectual incapacity to deal with the standard objections that the comedian raised. Again and again, I found myself muttering, “Come on, Maher, pick on someone your own size.”

Read the rest here.

It Must Be God's Will

God works in mysterious ways. I think he must want priests to sell cocaine. Or maybe he’s testing us in some way.

From Priest at Univ. of Illinois charged with dealing cocaine from church office and rectory by Associated Press:

A Catholic priest on the University of Illinois campus has been charged with selling cocaine from his church office and rectory.

The Reverend Christopher Layden pleaded not guilty Thursday to two counts of delivery of less than 1 gram of cocaine within 1,000 feet of a church and one count of possession with intent to deliver 1 to 15 grams of cocaine near a church.

The 33-year-old was arrested Wednesday at St. John's Catholic Newman Center after investigators found 3 grams of cocaine and drug paraphernalia while searching his home and office. His bond was set at $50,000.

Read the rest here.

What does the Bible say about coke? Why do we consider coke to be bad if it’s not mentioned in the Bible?

Are Superiors Ever Happy?

From Italian priest cancels nun beauty contest:

A Mondragone, Italy, priest said he has canceled plans for a nun beauty contest after religious leaders objected to his idea.

Father Antonio Rungi said the contest, which he described as an attempt to dispel the stereotype of all nuns being old and unpleasant looking, will not appear on his blog as planned next month due to objections from local Catholic leaders, The Daily Telegraph reported Wednesday.

"My superiors were not happy," Rungi said of the church's reaction to his plan to post pictures and descriptions of each contestant on his blog.

"The local bishop was not happy, but they did not understand me either," he said.

Read the rest here.

PZ Myers Has Killed Jesus Christ

To all you Catholics out there who haven’t heard the news: Jesus Christ has been killed, yet again. PZ Myers has admitted that he is the one who stabbed Mr. Christ to death. He then threw his body in the trash. After committing this horrible act Myers simply said, “It is finished.”

People have been puzzled by the reason “Mad” Myers gave for carrying out this horrendous crime. “It’s a frackin’ cracker,” he was quoted as saying. What is even more puzzling to this humble blogger is that Myers has not been arrested for murder. After all, he killed Jesus Christ, yet again.

If you are not Catholic you may not realize this. You may not know about transubstantiation. It means: “The miraculous change by which according to Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox dogma the eucharistic elements at their consecration become the body and blood of Christ while keeping only the appearances of bread and wine.”

All good Catholics know what transubstantiation means. It means that PZ Myers killed Jesus Christ, yet again. The response from Catholics who have come forward to comment on this incident is, once again, puzzling. The venom directed toward Myers is almost too much to take. The worst of it was when Myers was accused of being a “biology teacher.” I shudder to think of the meaning of this. I cannot comprehend such evil.

Catholics from around the world have come forward with various comments about Myers. Rod Dreher has decided that the death penalty is too good for the evil Myers. Instead he has taken the matter of justice into his own hands and has resorted to… name calling. Dreher has called Myers a “coward”, a “Christian-hating fanatic”, and “Big Man.” (Will Clarence Clemmons sue?) The Confraternity of Catholic Clergy asks “all Catholics of Minnesota and of the entire nation to join in a day of prayer and fasting that such offenses never happen again.” Ouch, now we all know that’s worse than life imprisonment or lethal injection.

Myers himself seems to be aware of his guilt. In what can only be thought of as self-flagellation, Myers reads and publishes thousands of comments concerning his disgraceful act on his blog, which is called Pharyngula. Only a deranged murderer would give a name like that to his blog.

Yet despite literally thousands of comments from Catholics on this matter, no Catholics are calling for the arrest of PZ Myers. It is almost as if they do not believe that Myers killed anyone, let alone their Lord and saviour. This cannot be, can it?

Crackers And Wafers And Rudeness, Oh My!

Some other bloggers, internetters, and unmentionables think that PZ Myers was rude or abusive to the Catholics because he “didn't accord the Eucharist proper respect.” Some think that he is a jerk. Some find his conduct reprehensible. Just what is the proper respect that an atheist should have for the Eucharist?

Here’s what Catholics believe about atheists like Mr. Myers and myself:

We will spend eternity burning in hell. They believe this just as much as they believe in transubstantiation.

How rude is that?

The god that the Catholics believe in is a fucking asshole.

How rude is that?

For a more sane perspective on all of this visit Majikthise.

The world would be a better place with no religion at all.