God Cares About How You Vote

God wants you to vote McCain/Palin. It says so in the Bible. The Bible also tells us that anyone who votes Obama/Biden is screwed. You know the routine, eternal damnation and hell fire and all of that.

In all my years of reading the Bible I wonder why I keep missing the part that says “Vote for McCain”? I’ve found lots of parts that tell me I’m screwed.

It appears that God does not believe in democracy. I’m glad that I don’t believe in God. God is unpatriotic and Un-American. God is Unconstitutional. God is an autocratic dictator.

From You cannot be a Christian and vote for Obama by Janet Porter:

To all those who name the name of Christ who plan to willfully disobey Him by voting for Obama, take warning. Not only is our nation in grave danger, according to the Word of God, so are you.

Aren’t there laws against voter intimidation in the United States? Do they pertain to God? Do they pertain to Janet Porter?

In one week, America will make a choice. And to those who call themselves "Christian" who are planning on voting for Barack Obama, put down the Obama talking points and read God's voter guide before you go to the polls:

I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live (Deuteronomy 30:19).

Somehow “choose life” becomes anti-abortion, as a political tool. Why can’t “choose life” mean a woman’s right to choose, not the government choosing for her?

It's not just about "hope" and "change." Proverbs 6:16-22 states there are some things God hates.

These six things the LORD hates,
Yes, seven are an abomination to Him:
A proud look,
A lying tongue,
Hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that are swift in running to evil,
A false witness who speaks lies,
And one who sows discord among brethren.

Obama-Biden are pro-death. McCain-Palin are pro-life.

Now choose life that you and your children may live.

I wonder how many Iraqi fetuses have died because of George W. Bush? Where is the Christian outrage over their deaths? Where is Janet Porter’s outrage over this? No outrage, just the outrageous claim that God wants us to vote for someone who will carry on George’s very Un-Christian work in Iraq. What about the unborn in Iran that McCain has plans to kill? What was that talk about "hands that shed innocent blood"?

Read again those six things that God hates, I mean hates. Watch out, now they are seven abominations. (If a Christian types “Lord” instead of “LORD”, do they go to hell?) How six things that God hates become seven abominations, God only knows. The reason God does not play dice is because he doesn’t know how to count. God must not be very happy with George W. Bush right now. Isn’t Bush guilty on all seven counts?

Vote for McCain/Palin, so that if you do choose to have an abortion you will have to do it yourself with a coat-hanger. Vote for McCain/Palin, so that your children will have to go fight the 100 year war in Iraq. Vote for McCain/Palin, so that your children will grow up in a world without universal health care. (They may be sick, but god damn it, they’re alive. Unless, of course, they die because they got sick.) Vote for McCain/Palin, so that you can’t afford to buy food for your kids because the wealth should stay with the wealthy and not be spread around. (Your kids can choose life without any food.)

No, this election is not about race. It's not about the economy. It's about obeying God.

Then obey Him in the voting booth and out of it. If not, do us all a favor and quit calling yourself a Christian.

I don’t call myself a Christian. I haven’t for years. I’m voting for Obama.

Did I just hear thunder?