Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Still In First Grade

Do you remember being in the first grade at school? It wasn’t that long ago that you can’t remember, was it? First grade is a very early step in that process of learning how to fit in with the rest of the world. How to be a social animal, if you will. For some, as part of that learning process, it is a time of calling some of your classmates names if you disagreed with them or didn’t like them. I remember classmates calling each other “retard” and other derogatory names. Then we move on and graduate from elementary school, some of us graduate from high school, and some from college. Most of us as adults have moved past the mental and emotional level that we had when we were in the first grade. We stop calling others “retards.” We see it as childish and immature behavior that is uncivilized. Most adults want to at least try to behave as adults.

Most, but not all. If you are John Lillpop and write for The Conservative Voice you still call people names if you disagree with them and don’t like them. If you are John Lillpop you still are at the mental and emotional level of a first grader. So you write childish and silly things because you don’t know about things like facts, substance, and context.

From Obama Finds God: Far Left Fumes! by John Lillpop:

In another monumental departure from the mental disorder known as liberalism, Barack Obama has seen the light and is ready to embrace God, and or Allah, as an integral part of his campaign for the Oval Office.

This dilly is sure to send retards at Daily KOs and Moveon.orgy into self-administered (and illegal) drug therapy.

So, if elected, not only will Obama not dismantle President Bush's program for supporting faith-based initiatives, but now the flaky Democrat has pledged to expand the God thing.

With this latest change of heart, Obama has once again abandoned the far left and its kooky communist atheist agenda.
The first thing I must point out is the reference to a source with no linking code in the HTML. Obviously, that far-left commie inventor of the internet, Al Gore, has very wisely chosen not to share very much of his infinite wisdom of all things web-like with all those far-right fascists.

Next, let’s take a look at Mr. Lillpop’s writing style and his presumed thought process. I imagine that, while writing, this is what was going on in Mr. Lillpop’s synapse-challenged brain:

“Hmm, I don’t like liberalism. I’ll call it a ‘mental disorder.’ Hmm, I’ll put Barack Obama and Allah in the same sentence, even though I know Obama’s not Muslim. Dilly sounds silly, so I’ll stick it in somewhere. Hmm, I don’t like those two websites and because they get more readers than I do. I’ll call them ‘retards.’ And to top it all off I’ll type them like this: ‘Daily KOs and Moveon.orgy.’ I won’t link to them because I know nothing about internet protocol, I’m afraid people might actually learn the truth at them, and… Oh yeah, I don’t know how to! Just to show how much I don’t like those two websites and I’ll say something about how this ‘dilly’ will send them into ‘self-administered (and illegal) drug therapy.’ I know Rush would never do anything like that. I know Bush would never do anything like that. Only those damn commie lefties abuse drugs. Next, I’ll prove my point (that I hate those damn commie lefties) by putting up a link that nobody can get to unless they copy-and-paste it. Now it’s time to call Obama ‘flaky’ and not tell anybody why I’m calling him ‘flaky’ in a sentence in which I explain that Obama has just done something that I wanted him to do. He’s still ‘flaky’ even though he ‘has once again abandoned the far left.’ Uh-oh, I’m starting to feel confused, I better call somebody a name. OK, I’ve got it. The far left is ‘kooky’, it’s ‘communist’, it’s 'atheist.' Whew, I feel better now, and I didn’t even have to check any facts to do that. Now what? Oh yeah, the big questions and the big zing at the end. And I still need a title for the whole thing. I know, I’ll call it Obama Finds God: Far Left Fumes! It doesn’t matter that Obama has believed in God for over twenty years, and it doesn’t matter that the reason the left is upset is for an entirely different reason. I’ve got my title.”

Here are the big questions:
Who is going to take the lead in amending the US Constitution to remove all that verbiage about "separation of church and state" in order to conform to Obama's latest fancy?

Say what? No amendment is required since there is nothing in the Constitution about separation of church and state to begin with?
Obviously Mr. Lillpop thinks that Chuck Norris is a Constitutional scholar and deep thinker.

I would like to suggest to both Mr. Lillpop and Mr. Norris that they go find that big fat book on the bookshelf (no, not the Bible!) and look up the word “context.” Now go study the history of the beginnings of the United States. Learn all that stuff about the Founders wanting to be free of the tyranny of the King of England, about the dangers of a state religion (the Church of England), and about how they believed more in the Enlightenment than Christianity. Maybe even read The Federalist and some Tom Paine. Then go reread the Constitution.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
And maybe consider this:
In 1802, President Jefferson wrote a letter to a group of Baptists in Danbury, Connecticut, in which he declared that it was the purpose of the First Amendment to build ''a wall of separation between Church and State.”
And here is the big zing (in bold type, too) Mr. Lillpop chose to use at the end:

"Praise be to Allah!"

Thanks to John W. Lillpop I now have an answer to my question: “Why does the president frequently sound like he is addressing a class of first graders?”

And of course the answer is: Most Bush supporters remain stuck at the mental and emotional level of first graders. People like Rush "Have your way with me" Limbaugh and Bill "Shut Up" O'Reilly. Not to mention Ann Coulter, Mary Matilin, Glenn Beck, Michael Savage, Michelle Malkin, and on and on, ad nauseum…

Praise be to John W. Lillpop! Because of him I've seen the light.

And finally, so you don’t have to copy-and-paste, this is what set Mr. Lillpop off on his tirade against liberals. And all that is required to do this are a few symbols put into the proper context. Yet another reason for Mr. Lillpop to learn the meaning of the word “context.”

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